VG Tunes: Back in Action
by SSB-Episode-Writer
Summary: Mario and Sonic, along with Troy and Gabriella are off around the world to solve a mystery. But how can they when they don't have a clue?
1. Sonic the Hedgehog Fired!

This is my next story which happens to be a parody of the movie, "Looney Tunes: Back in Action" Check out the cast I picked out!

Bugs Bunny: Mario

Daffy Duck: Sonic the Hedgehog

D.J Drake: Troy Bolton (HSM)

Kate Houghton: Gabriella Montez (HSM)

Elmer Fudd: Wario

Marvin the Martian: DarkEvil LaserPants (S.O.Lmaster)

Yosemite Sam: Dr. Eggman

(That's all I can put down for the cast! Sorry!)

* * *

Chapter 1: Sonic the Hedgehog Fired!

Animated style of "From Russia with Love" 1

A terrified crowd rushes the screen, escaping Wario, in tuxedo, riding atop an old British car. Screaming steam shoots from the car as shoots and destroys cars.

A dark figure drops down in its path. It's Sonic the Hedgehog. He faces off against the British car. A large gun aims for him; he leaps aside. He jumps on the car. Sonic is hoisted skyward. He spies a small open panel on the car. It is a maze of wires and circuits. In Sonic's computer-like mind, the circuits are analyzed in 3-D and the system's Achilles Heel is located. A grim Sonic summons his guitar and directs it precisely into the circuit board. The circuit crackles. The calliope shudders and bucks. The calliope explodes into a fireball, which Sonic rides toward camera a la "Mission: Impossible."

"Hold on."

The cartoon image on screen freezes.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 2

Sonic sits at a large conference table headed by Master Hand and Crazy Hand. The end of the table is crammed with identical junior executives, on chairs that put their heads only halfway above the lip of the table.

"Wait. There's a love story..." Sonic began explaining.

Master Hand said perplexed, "You killed Wario."

"You can't kill Wario," said Crazy Hand.

"He comes back from the dead later. Scar-faced and even more insane," Sonic said, explaining about his next movie.

"I hate wearing tuxedos," Wario said.

"What's-a up-a?" Mario stands at the doorway to the conference room, dramatically backlit.

All the Junior Executives at the table laugh uproariously. Daffy looks steamed. On Mario as he strolls to his seat, he gestures to executives in their chairs.

Mario continues, "Colin, saw the piece-a in Variety. Mr. Big Shot... Hey, Kyle. Day twenty-three-a, right?... Jerry J.!" Mario play boxes with an executive affectionately, then turns to another executive, very concerned. "Ian, if your sister needs anymore bone marrow, I'm-a there." Mario sits down and turns to Sonic. "So Sonic, I was-a reading this-a rewrite you did and I only got one question. Where's-a me?"

Sonic rolls his eyes and groans, "Actors." he said patronizing. "I was getting to your part, Mario."

Animated style of "From Russia with Love" 3

As the car explodes from several angles, we pan to street level. A manhole cover opens and a particularly dumb-looking Mario emerges, fixing a toilet.

"Duh...It's-a me, Mario!" The wrench is revealed to have a fast-burning fuse. It explodes. A charred Mario looks stupefied. Then a huge, flaming chunk of calliope lands on his head.

Back to Conference Room

Mario rises, nonchalant, readying his exit.

"Fine-a with me. The money all goes-a to the wives-a anyway," Mario said.

Sonic smugs, victorious and cheers, "We'll invite you to the premiere!"

"Excuse me, I'm sorry. This is Gabriella. She speaks quickly, confidently, as if she doesn't need anything or anybody, but we all know better. I don't think we can have a Super Mario movie without the Mario Bros.

"A Super Mario movie without the Mario Bros? Whoever heard of such a thing?" Master Hand wondered.

"I think we just did," Crazy Hand said. Sonic paces down the table, acting thoughtful.

"Oh my, heavens no. You couldn't have a movie without Mario. Riots in the streets. The fall of Nintendo civilization. It'd be like meatless meat. Chili Dogs without chili.

Sonic winds up standing on the table in Gabriella's face. Sonic continues and says very condescending, "Say, if you don't mind my asking, whose assistant are you?"

Gabriella grabs Sonic's hand and squeezes it. Sonic begins to react in pain.

"Gabriella Montez. Executive Vice."

"Comedy," said the President.

As Gabriella releases Sonic's hand, Sonic grabs his hand and starts hyperventilating very fast.

Master Hand says enthusiastic, "Gabriella did 'Nicktoons Unite Babies.'" He points to a poster similar to a "Nicktoons Unite!" poster, only Danny Phantom and SpongeBob SquarePants are airbrushed babies. The catchphrase is "The Nicktoons have Unite!" The movie is rated PG.

"Finally, a "Nicktoons Unite" movie I can take my children to," Crazy Hand cheered.

"We've brought Gabriella in because we think she can really add something to the VG Tunes mix," Master Hand explained.

We see Daffy making a quick calculation in his head and then suddenly turn to Gabriella, sucking up desperately.

"Fresh perspective, just what we need -- new ideas for a post-Mario- Plumber world," Sonic sneered.

Gabriella pulls out her extremely cool Sprint computer/phone and calls up a bunch of charts and graphs on it.

"Actually, our latest research shows that Mario is a core asset that appeals to male and female, young and old, throughout the known universe..."

We cut to Mario. He is busily cleaning a faucet, eventually using a mushroom to increase his work.

Gabriella continues on, "...while your fanbase is limited to angry guys in basements who demand a lot of speed. And there's only 14 of them."

"Hey I've got more! I mean, there's Jaleel, Ryan, Jason, and Martin! Did you get those guys?"

Gabriella checks her phone and answers, "Yes."

Sonic swallows nervously. He turns to the Hands, pleading.

"C'mmmmmmon, fellas! I'm thrice the entertainer the plumber is!"

Mario makes a casual belch making the room bursts into laughter.

Sonic gets angry and says dryly, "Yes, he's hilarious. But moviegoers these days demand action!"

Sonic launches into a kung fu routine: "Hah! Ho! Ah-cha-cha!"

Sonic executes a flurry of judo-like moves, resulting in slipping and hitting the table on his bottom. But he gets up and makes more as he forms a stupid pose.

"Top that, chubby!"

Mario gracefully assumes an elaborate karate pose.

Mario is perfectly poised as he forms the Kong Que (Kong KYU-yu-ah). "The Peacock."

He lightly flicks the back of Sonic's head with his toe. Sonic falls flat on his face.

Sonic struggle to get up as Mario throws some jacks down on the table. Sonic angrily glares at Mario's face.

"Despicable," Sonic growled.

"You can't have him making those stupid poses. You'll just make people attempt to perform those stunts and they'll end up going to the hospital," Gabriella reminded Sonic.

"So,it has come to this," Sonic realized. "I'm afraid the Hand brothers must choose between a handsome matinee idol, or...We cut back to Mario. He is offering his finger to an executive, happily. The executive tentatively pulls it." Confetti flies out of Mario's hat. Sonic continues, "...this miscreant perpetrator of low burlesque!"

Gabriella says arbitrating, "Look, I don't think it has to be one or--"

Master Hand spoke quickly, "Miscreant perpetrator of low burlesque."

"Whichever one's not the hedgehog," Crazy Hand pointed out.

Master Hand reaches down, and picks up a cardboard box containing assorted pictures and stuffed Sonics, etc. a black-and-white picture of Sonic with Yuji Naka, six-pound barbell, one of those executive clacky-ball things, a fridge of chili dogs.

"Here's the stuff from your office," Master Hand said. Mario starts casually picking through the stuff. Sonic is stunned as Gabriella appears, confused.

"You're firing Sonic the Hedgehog?" Gabriella clarified.

"Oh no, we're not firing Sonic the Hedgehog," Master Hand said to her.

"You are," Crazy Hand said.

"Okay," Gabriella answered, accepting decision.

She turns to Sonic, businesslike and starts leading him out.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this. I really like your work. Huge fan. That whole...," makes weird impressions.

Gabriella starts to lead Sonic out. He turns back toward the Hand Brothers, spouting tears, even as Gabriella continues to move him toward the door.

"Wait!! I unquit! I de-resign! I take it all baaa-ack!!" Sonic screamed, trying to get back.

Mario appears, holding a piece of paper.

"How you can-a take-a back-a this-a vicious letter of-a resignation?" Mario wondered.

"I didn't write any...," Sonic lied as he starts to read, "'never in all my life'... sounds like me... 'incompetent '... wow, I sure know how to burn my bridges..."

"Let me walk you out," Gabriella said.


	2. Trouble in the Video Game Lot

Chapter 2: Trouble in the Video Game Lot

As they walk out...

"Look-a, I'm-a gonna try to keep-a this out of the trades," Mario said to Sonic.

"Sonic's been fired!" Someone shouted.

We hear a voice farther shouting, "Execs axe the fastest hedgehog!"

Outside the Video Game Lot, we see Troy Bolton, a strapping, handsome fellow, stands guard. Gabriella walks up gripping Sonic's forearm as he squirms like a little kid. Mario strolls on her other side.

"I need you to eject this hedgehog," Gabriella said to Troy.

"This hedgehog?" Troy asked. "This is Sonic the Hedgehog."

"Not anymore. We own the name."

Mario goes to Sonic and says helpfully, "I got-a the rights to Chronic the Hedgehog. You can use that till you get back on your feet."

Sonic says indignant, "They can't stop me from calling myself S-," He chokes on it. The name won't come out.

"You fired Sonic the Hedgehog?" Troy asked Gabriella.

"No, that isn't-- Well, I did, but only because they--," Gabriella tried to say something.

Troy understands and replies, "Just following orders."

Gabriella gets his drift, "I'm having a bad enough day."

"It must be hard on the soul to become something you hate in order to keep a job you're not even sure you want," Troy said.

"You tell her, sister," Sonic gives him a thumbs up.

Mario speaks admiring. "Man, it's like you read her back story."

"Please. Both of you. Shut up," Gabriella ordered them.

Mario and Sonic are suddenly wearing Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin outfits. They overdramatically "zip" their lips in unison. And, oh yes, they're animated in black and white.

They hold a card saying, "Yes, ma"am!"

Gabriella turns to Troy and says defensively, "You don't know me."

"Gabriella Montez. Drives a red 2005 Chevy Malibu. Good engine, but under-driven," Troy said. Gabriella is shocked as Troy continues. "You drive past me every day. Of course, why would you notice, I'm just the security guard."

She looks at him and says coolly, "You don't know me."

A beat goes by as Troy looks at her.

"You still want me to eject the hedgehog?" Troy broked the ice.

Gabriella looks like she's getting pissed. "Uh, yeah. Is that going to be difficult for you?"

"A little. You let him escape."

Gabriella looks down. Her hand is empty. Sonic is, indeed, gone. Flustered, she lashes out at Troy.

"What do you do now? Call for backup?" Gabriella asks sarcastically.

Troy looks around for Sonic. Suddenly Sonic zips in behind him, runs up his back, and stands on his head.

"I went that a-away!" Sonic shouted.

Sonic runs down and over Troy's face and zips off in the direction he pointed. Now pissed, Troy gives chase. Gabriella and Mario walk off.

"How does Pizza Hut sound for lunch?" she asks Mario.

Troy chases Sonic in and around various stagehands who are carrying or carting props that will appear later in the movie. There are also costumed actors we will see later.

"Stop! Or I'll write a report!" Troy threatened Sonic.

A giant stone monkey head is being hoisted by a crane. Sonic jumps into the cab, surprising the operator. He pulls a lever. The giant stone monkey head drops. Troy catches it and hands it to a stagehand. Sonic takes off. Sonic scurries up a ladder propped against the back of a particularly cheap-looking building flat. He quickly pulls up the ladder after him.

Troy arrives as Sonic disappears through a window on the flat. Seeing there's no ladder, Troy leaps up onto the flat and begins scaling the wood supports.

Troy climbs out the window Sonic escaped through. We now see he is on the ledge of a building. It's surprisingly realistic looking for a "flat." Also on the ledge next to him is James Bond, who throws his hands up, exasperated.

"Cut! Cut!" shouted the director.

Troy turns to the voice, loses his footing and falls. We see on the ground there is a giant airbag. Troy falls just beyond the airbag, hitting the ground hard. He pops back up a second later.

"I'm okay!" Troy shouted.

"Who cares?" asked the director.

Troy is about to respond when he sees: Sonic hops into James Bond's car . Angry PAs come at Troy. He flicks them off like flies.

Sonic grabs the controls in the car.

"Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog," Sonic snickered When a hand grabs him by the throat.

Troy, carrying Sonic by the neck, walks away from the car, toward camera. He does not see the car activate. But Sonic does.

"So, feeling pretty good about yourself?" Sonic asked.

"I am," Troy answered.

The Bond car starts to move.

"You caught the fastest hedgehog."

"I did."

The Bond Car is moving pretty fast now. Folks start to run after it. Sonic is watching all this.

"And now you're going to offer your catch to the pretty executive..." Sonic's voice trails off.

"Indeed."

The Bond Car crashes into the Nintendo Playstation XBOX tower, knocking one of its supports completely clear.

Gabriella drives Mario in her Chevy Malibu.

"If Sonic's not-a careful, he's-a gonna end up on CW44, wearing a diaper," Mario said.

"Hey!" Troy shouted to Gabriella.

Gabriella turns to his direction.

Troy stands and proudly holds Sonic aloft. Right behind him, though, the tower is toppling over and coming right at her.

The XBOX logo falls onto Gabriella's car damaging the front end and blowing the air bag at Gabriella's face. Troy and Sonic escape injury when the Nintendo Logo falls on either side of them.

Gabriella squirms to get out of her car.

"This-a is why I hate-a driving in L.A," Mario joked as he pushes the air bag out of his face.

A furious Gabriella glares at Troy holding Sonic.

"I think she likes you," Sonic said.


	3. Plans for More Work

Chapter 3: Plans for More Work

Troy, stripped of his guard shirt (he wears a muscle T), flies out the gate, does a midair somersault and lands on his feet. Just as he straightens up, Sonic flies out from the gate and onto the back of Troy's head. Troy turns around but Sonic remains in place; he's now wrapped around Troy's face.

"Let me get off your face there," Sonic said.

"Yes. That would be lovely," Troy agreed.

Sonic climbs down. He gestures inside the gate, where there is much commotion and destruction.

"Ooh. I better give them a couple hours to cool off," Sonic said and goes to Troy. "So, where for lunch? I'm banned at the following restaurants: Taco Bell, Checkers, McDonald's, Wendy's."

"Go away," Troy said.

Troy is unlocking a dubiously street legal motorbike from a nearby pole. Sonic walks up.

"Hey, what gives? We've shared."

"And it was a delight," Troy didn't sound too happy. "But now I must move on with my life, which, it saddens me to report, will not include any insane hedgehogs..."

"You sir, are a snob! A specie-ist or whatever that word is," Sonic sneered.

Troy, now on the bike, pops a wheelie, twirls the bike around once on its back wheel, and speeds off frame. Oddly, this kicks much smoke and dust into Sonic's face.

Sonic coughs, and calls out to Troy, "You just bought yourself a lawsuit!"

It is the next day as we go inside the VG Office. Video Game Stars lunch casually with Nintendo Video Game Characters of their choice.

We pan across a couple of tables. In the first, Luigi complains to his sympathetic celebrity friend.

"They tell me, lose the cowardness, it's not politically correct. So I lose the cowardness. Now they tell me I'm not funny!" Luigi whined.

In the second, Ian Narver and his adopted son, Alan the Hedgehog are talking to Nathan Kress, playing himself.

"You made me sound like a total space cadet," Alan said to Nathan.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I tried to be true to your character," Nathan shrugged.

Ian leans over the booth aggressively.

"If you goof on my son in the next episode, I'm coming after you with my blade burning on you!" Ian threatened.

Alan gets into Nathan's face, and said, "Please be aware that I can also use my Gamecube Belt on you!"

Nathan looks like he is about to faint.

Mario and Gabriella are at the third table.

"Some areas of the script I think we need to address: there's no heart, no one's cooperating, nobody learns anything..." Gabriella explained.

"Sonic learns not-a to run into a jet-a engine," Mario pointed out.

"He's gone," Gabriella said.

"Oh, don't you know? Sonic always comes back. I just-a tell him how much-a I need-a him. We hug. We cry. I burn his-a foot with-a my fireball. I laugh," Mario joked.

Gabriella produces her cellphone and makes a few quick motions with the stylus.

"He's deleted. We need to move on."

"You'll go far in-a this business."

"I already have," Gabriella said. "The question is, how can I help you reposition your brand identity? Answer: team you up with a hot female co-star!"

"I don't-a think I'd feel right about burning a girl's foot..."

"We change the dynamic. You still can't stand each other, but now you fall madly in love..." Gabriella suggested.

"But what-a about my relationship with Princess Peach?" Mario asked.

Mario whips a picture of him and Princess Peach.

"About your relationship with Peach. In the past, very cute. Today, old school."

Mario shoves picture of Gabriella's baby picture and burns it.

"Look, I can't reinvigorate you if you won't play ball with me..."

A baseball plops into Gabriella's drink, splashing her. Mario sits across from her in his Super Mario Sluggers look, pounding his fist into a glove and takes out his red bat.

"That's not funny," Gabriella didn't seem to be in a laughing mood.

"We disagree," Mario shrugged.

"Let's change the subject. Here, you'll love this. The consumer products people visualized some concepts for your new look," Gabriella produces a sketch of Mario wearing pimped out clothes, wearing his hat like a rapper. "Rapping Mario. Pimped out look, but roomier in the waist." Gabriella looks to Mario for affirmation. His stares back icily. "You don't like it."

"No offense, but-a I like-a my look, what if my boss, Miyamoto found out, and for that-a matter, he may get on my nerves, and he takes-a money from my wallet, but when it comes to sidekicks..."

Gabriella puts foot downand says, "Stop. Listen. I'm trying to be nice, but I was brought in to leverage your synergy, and I'm not going to let you or some wacky animal."

"Or a hedgehog."

"Wacky, Nutty, Fruitcake hedgehog, it doesn't matter, the mental health groups are going to line us up and shoot us!"

Mario wears a blindfold and French beret, an unlit cigarette in his lips.

Mario speaks in a meaner accent, "Tell Gigi, Fifi, Cece and Zuzu I love them."

Gabriella, in a complete panic, reaches over and knocks the cigarette out of Mario's mouth.

"You can't smoke! Kids are watching!"

Gabriella points. Sitting on the floor is Timmy Turner and his Fairy GodParents, Cosmo and Wanda, staring up at them as if it's TV.

"I want to smoke what Mario smokes," Timmy cheered.

"Now Timmy, if Mario jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?" Wanda asked.

"I sure would," Timmy said.

"Neat! Can I join you?" Cosmo asked as Wanda glares at him. "What?"

Gabriella is completely flummoxed. She steels herself; it looks like she's going to have to pull rank.

"As the executive on this project, I have to insist that we do every single thing I say," Gabriella ordered Mario.

"As the recipient of these..." He places five Oscar-like statues on the table. He then hoists up his VG Hollywood Walk of Fame star, which he has apparently jack-hammered out of the sidewalk. "...and this, I insist we do things like we've always done them, which includes getting Sonic back.

We hear a Sonic the Hedgehog-ish voice. "I'm back, Mario!"

It's Mandy Valdez (iCarly), in a cheap hedgehog costume.

"Can you believe it? We got Mandy Valdez!" Gabriella squealed.

Mario gets up. He stares at Gabriella calmly.

"As-a Bugs Bunny always said, 'Of course-a you realize: this-a means war'," Mario said.

Mario exits. Gabriella calls after him angrily.

"Someone owns that catchphrase!" Gabriella sighs deeply, frustrated and upset. Suddenly, a huge blue hedgehog quill is shoved in her face.

"Could you be a doll and scratch that for me?" Mandy asked. "You want to see me do an impersonation of a duck?"

As Gabriella makes a face, we pan over to another table where Tim Allen is talking to Neal the Spy.

"There's a couple of Republicans in the Senate who need a little timeout in the fortress of solitude, if you catch my drift..."

"You realize you're not actually the president of the United States nor the VG Director, right?" Neal asked.


	4. Troy Receives a Call

Chapter 4: Troy Receives a Call

A fancy English Tudor. Troy rides up on his motorbike.

"Troy!" we hear a Spanish accent voice.

Ella (Sonic X) is clipping the hedges next door. Jerry Mouse is in acage on a stand next to her. The top of Tom's head can be viewed eying Jerry.

Troy waves back, smiling warmly but wearily.

"Hey, Ella! Jerry!" Troy greeted them.

"How was your first day at work?" Jerry asked.

"Eventful," Troy sighed.

Troy goes in the house.

"I didn't plant cat tails," Ella lops off Tom's tail, which was hovering there. Tom drops out of view.

Troy enters the house. He shuts the door and sighs deeply. There is the sudden sound of his gym bag unzipping. Sonic climbs out.

"Look, it's your speedy friend, Sonic the Hedgehog!" Sonic cheered.

Sonic sticks out his tongue and gives Troy a great big Wet Willy.

"Hey, how...?" Troy was flabbergasted on how Sonic got in his gym bag.

"Don't think about it for too long; it'll just mess with your head," Sonic strolls around the place, touching everything, turning stuff over, shaking it, etc. "Nice place," Sonic commented and sniffs. "What have you got, a goat?"

"I'm sorry. Did I miss the part where I invited you in?" Troy asked sarcastically.

Sonic places his hand on a neat stack of magazines and spreads them haphazardly across the table. He glances at the covers. Mario is on every one.

"Liberal media bias," Sonic snorts

Sonic picks up a Hollywood Reporter, which somehow managed to get printed, delivered and end up in a pile of read magazines in a house.

"Well, no such thing as bad..." Sonic notices something. "Oooo..."

"Perhaps I was being too polite. Get out," Troy points to the door.

Sonic turns casually away and answers, "I'm going. I'm going." Sonic looks into the aquarium with seemingly academic interest. "Ah, an ichthyologium whatever it is."

Suddenly, Sonic shoves his hand into the aquarium, plucks out a large tropical fish and pops it into his mouth.

Troy runs up, grabs Sonic, and sticks his hand down Sonic's throat. He pulls out a chili dog.

Sonic scolds, "Personal space!" He reaches back down Sonic's throat, pulls out the fish, and puts it back into the tank. Over this, Sonic starts spitting

"You know that hurt? Tasted nasty anyway. I rather eat chlli dogs than sea food. Yuck!"

"Sonic..." Troy spoke softly.

Sonic speaks in a strangled voice. "Speaking."

"Leave my father's house, now."

Troy squishes Sonic down.

"Now you've got a lawsuit on your hands," Sonic said. Sonic springs up and jumps onto the piano stool. "Wait. You live with your father?"

"Kinda, sorta..." Troy squeaked.

Sonic drops off the table, rolling and laughing.

"That's rich!" Sonic laughed.

As he laughs, Sonic pounds on the piano keys with his fists. He continues laughing, pounding his fists on top of the piano as he crawls up onto it. His fist stops in mid-pound when he sees all the posters on the wall. Then he stops laughing abruptly.

Framed posters on the wall for James Bond-type movies: "MEAN SPIES", "LIVE AND LET CRY" and "GOLDENTHIGH." The name "Drake Bolton" features prominently over a Pierce Brosnan type.

Sonic speaks in hushed awe, "Your dad's Drake Bolton, the super spy?"

Troy answers as if he's been here before. "He's an actor. Who plays a spy?" Sonic knocks an award off a plaque. Troy continues, "And that, that was his "I Spy" Award."

Sonic talks, "Ingenious. An actor who plays a super spy as a cover for being a super spy playing an actor! I'll bet this whole dump's a super spy lair! Nothing is as it seems."

As he's talking, Sonic is looking around with the magnifying glass. He looks towards the audience and we see his eye in the magnifying glass. On the word "lair" he pulls the magnifying glass away from his face, but there is still an eye in the glass that continues looking around as he says, "Nothing is as it seems."

"You spend a lot of time on the Internet, don't you?" Troy asked.

"How could I when all I do is run around the world?" Sonic asked rudely.

Troy walks away. Sonic is already at the tray, closely examining items on it.

"You know, you're probably protected by an invisible force field right this minute," Sonic suggested.

Sonic picks an apple from a fruit bowl and throws it. The apple hits Troy in the face.

"Ow!" Troy cried out.

Sonic speaks confidently, "Force-field-penetrating apple."

We then hear a cell phone ring.

"Feel free to continue your delusional ranting while I answer my..." We cut to the strange, futuristic remote control. "...Remote?"

The TV remote is indeed ringing. Troy picks it up and talks to it like a telephone.

"Hello?" He presses the button. Instead of the TV turning on, a projector pops out of an old radio.

The projector projects an image onto the painting. The painting dissolves into a view screen. It's Drake Bolton, looking straight into camera. He looks intense.

"Son?" Drake called.

"Dad, why are you in the painting?" Troy asked.

"Listen, Troy. I wanted to leave you out of this, but there's no one else I can trust. Can you hold on a second?" Drake asked.

Drake's face drops off the TV screen and we briefly see a thug approaching camera. In the foreground of the camera we see a fist form. The camera-fist zoom in to the face of the thug. Drake's face comes back into view.

"Are you shooting a movie or something?" Troy wondered.

Sonic zips up next to DJ, lugging a giant chili dog. He says nothing but makes his usual snicker as he looks at his favorite dish.

"Come to Las Vegas," Drake tells Troy.

Drake pauses to punch a bad guy.

"Ask Christmas Jones about the Blue Paw," Drake said.

Sonic bites a big hunk off his chili dog, chewing eagerly as he watches.

"Blue Paw?" Sonic asked with a mouth paw.

"It's a diamond," Drake told him.

Sonic freezes with the sandwich in his mouth. His eyes dilate and saliva pours out of his mouth all over the chili dog.

A fist comes into frame, punching Drake's head. There's a flurry of feet and arms on screen. Drake, a little bloodied, appears back on screen.

"Dad, are you okay? Should I call the police?" Troy asked.

"No police. Son, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before, but≈"

A huge hand grabs Drake's face from behind. Several parts of bad guys swarm in. It's a dark blur.

"Dad? Tell me what before? Dad?" Troy called.

The blank canvas scrolls up and a different painting fills the frame. Troy is in shock. Behind him, Sonic is ranting joyously.


	5. Off to Las Vegas

Chapter 5: Off to Las Vegas

"I gotta go save my dad..." Troy said.

Sonic stops dancing around and said, "Oh yeah, him."

Troy walks through the house, concerned.

"Spies and diamonds and not to mention sexy dames!" Sonic was all to excited. "This reminds of that time Tails and I went on a mission together to stop Eggman and save Amy!"

Troy enters the foyer and Sonic zips in front of him.

"This is going to be our greatest mission ever!"

Troy walks past Sonic to get his coat.

Sonic turns, feeling slightly put out, he said, "That was a bit disrespectful."

Troy ignores this and walks toward the garage. Sonic jumps back into the fray.

"First stop, Las Vegas, city of lights! Should we jet or copter in?" Sonic asked.

Troy answered, mostly to self, "We'll take my Dad's old car..."

"A superspy car? Alright! Let's roll!"

It's pretty dark in the garage as Troy pushes the garage door button.

"This isn't a spy car," Troy told him as the door opens, we see the car is a 1974 Gremlin.

"Don't be ridiculous. Your dad's a spy; therefore, spy car," Sonic reminded him.

"I used to deliver pizzas in this car," Troy said.

Troy gets in the car. Sonic is already there.

"Secret pizzas?" Sonic asks as he noticed. "Right. Pizzas."

Troy grabs Daffy and throws him out the driver side window. Troy rolls up the window quickly and starts the Gremlin. He drives out of the garage. As the Gremlin goes down the driveway onto the street, Sonic suddenly pops up in the back seat.

"You know how you know it's a spy car?" Sonic asks. "Because it doesn't look like a spy car. Just asks James Bond and he'll tell you if this isn't a spy car."

The Gremlin drives by as the garage door closes, the floor flips over revealing a sleek spy car.

Scene changes as Wario is in his bike, facing Mario. Mario chats on his cell phone.

"Action!" shouted the director.

Wario suddenly snaps out of his stupor and whips out a Cracker Barrel, immediately in character.

"Say your prayers, Mario!"

Mario turns aside from Wario.

"Oh no! Destroying plumbers when a hedgehog should-a stop. Wait?" Mario stops and takes out a script. "That didn't-a came out right and-a-"

Wario blast Mario with a Cracker Barrel.

"Probably should-a filmed that last instead of first," Mario suggested.

"We need another hedgehog," Master Hand groaned.

"Is Owen Wilson still in the business?" Crazy Hand asked.

"I think he's-a still filming his dog movie with Jennifer Aniston," Mario said.

"Well then, I'm out of ideas," Master Hand sighed as he got up to leave.

"I've never had an idea," Crazy Hand followed him.

"Let's-a see. We need a hedgehog who can-a outrun a Cracker Barrel blast and make it funny instead of," Mario vaguely gestures to screen,"...violence. If only there were such a duck. Hmmmmmmm...," Mario leans towards Gabriella, more insistent. "Hmmmm."

"What do you want me to say?" Gabriella asked. "That we shouldn't have gotten rid of Sonic? Well, a decision has been made and I think it was a sound one."

Master Hand answers casually, "You're fired."

"What?" Gabriella gasped.

Crazy Hand tells her casually, "You got rid of our best hedgehog."

"You can't fire me! My movies have made nine hundred and fifty million dollars!" Gabriella tells them.

"That's not a billion," Master Hand said.

"Nope, not a billion," Crazy hand agreed.

Gabriella says, "Okay... I think we can all agree that the decision to get rid of Sonic was a poor one." Gabriella begins to cross in front of the theater screen. "But it's time to move on..."

Just before she stops, we see Mario enter from the right and zip up behind her.

As she finishes her speech, Mario begins to act evil as his shadow becomes devilish like.

Gabriella continues, "...and by move on I mean reversing course and getting Daffy back.

Master Hand decided to let her off the hook and answered, "By Monday. This movie is costing us a million dollars a day."

"Plus gratuities," Crazy Hand added.

"I'll have Sonic back by Monday," Gabriella said.

Gabriella turns to see Mario standing against whatever-that-is, twirling a wrench and shaking his head sadly.

"I tried to-a warn you. Oh, wait, no I didn't," Mario noticed.

Mario gives a small laugh and makes an "oops" gesture. He does not, however, say, "My Bad."

The Gremlin zooms down the highway. Sonic flies out of the window and lands in the foreground, then skids out of view.

Sonic appears running next to the car and jumps through the window. He sits in the passenger seat and sits back.

"I'm getting a little tired of throwing you out of the car," Troy said.

"Dude, Sonic the Hedgehog will always be back in an instant. No matter how many times you throw me out the window," Sonic said as he is settling in. "Now if we run into anything that requires superspy skills, like cracking wise or smooching dames, you'd be better leave that to me. However, if we have any security guarding needs..."

"Very funny Sonic. But I'm not a security guard, okay? That's just what I do for money," Troy said.

"Hm hm."

"What I really am, is I'm a stuntman."

"You?" Sonic raspberries of disbelief.

"You see those High School Musical movies? I'm in them more than Zac Effron is. I had to get dancing lessons from my mom!" Sonic's eye twitches. Troy is suddenly bitter. "Oh, no, he couldn't stand that."

On the Gremlin as it drives off.

"You'd better leave everything to me."

Mario is in his office as the phone rings. He picks it up and answers, "Hello. This is-a Mario."

"Ha!" Sonic's voice comes through the phone.

"Sonic?" Mario realized.

We go to split-screen Sonic is on the cellphone, riding in the Gremlin. As Sonic talks, he casually pushes on his side of split screen, gradually occupying more of the frame and squeezing Bugs.

"Just a friendly call to inform you that while you're pretending to star in an action movie, I'm starring in my own action reality! Me and my sidekick Troy are on our way to Vegas to score the Blue Paw, a huge diamond which will enable me to buy all your friends and make them snub you at social events!" Sonic explained.

Mario is now squeezed with his knees against his chest. *

"Sonic, listen, I think I can get you your old job back with less of a pay cut than usual."

Sonic gives the split screen a tiny shove as he responds.

"Ha! Do you hear my laughter? Ha! I repeat, for your delicatation: Ha!" Sonic hangs up triumphantly. Unfortunately, he also lets go of the split screen he had been pushing. The moment he notices this, the screen "snaps" back in his direction and hits his head.

Mario stares at the receiver in confusion.

"Blue Paw?" Mario wondered.

A huge figure looks up from a book. The monitor zooms in on the red waveform: North America, West Coast, Los Angeles area, where we see a single waveform connecting a position in Beverly Hills to one in the desert.

"Blue Monkey," Mario repeats through the screen.

The figure closes his book: "_PAIN AND ITS CREATION_." He stands. He walks down a hallway in a building called, "GAME HEADQUARTERS".

Presiding at the acme of the dais is Master of Games (Teen Titans video game).

"That is unacceptable!" Master of Games yelled. "We cannot have nine-year-old children working in sweatshops making game sneakers! Not when three-year-olds eat so much less!

The V.P.'s all lunge for their buzzers.

"But they require naps," The Child Labor VP said.

"Put double expresso in their sippy cups," Master of Games said. The VPs all laugh as Master of Games reaches down. "All right, what's coming up next on the agenda? Where's my people? What's the next thing?"

A man taps him on the shoulder, startling him. He whispers in Master of Game's ear.

"Thank you, guy," Master of Games said and goes to the board. "Grave news, my friends." He picks up one of several remotes on his console. He hits a button and a floating video screen descends in front of the dais. The video screen is blue and says in the upper corner, "GAME ONE." "TV. Video. TV. Video," Master of Games gritted. The blue screen reads, "VIDEO 2", "VIDEO 3", "AUX", and then a Sonic Underground musical clip.

Master of Games struggles with the remote some more. Finally, a picture appears on the screen: it begins as a satellite picture of the Mojave desert, but ZOOMS IN to a car on Highway 15, and finally on the Gremlin.

Master of Games continues as if he hadn't been interrupted by this bit of business. "It seems as if Drake Bolton's son knows about the Blue Paw and is on his way to Las Vegas. We will learn the location of the diamond before he does or my name isn't...Frank?"

Master of Games pushes a button on the remote. A padded room. Drake is strapped into a folding chair. Two interrogators come at him.

"How's the interrogation going?" Master of Game asked.

Just then Drake rears back and kicks both of the interrogators square in the face. One of them staggers to his feet and talks directly to the security camera.

"He's about to crack," the interrogator panicked.

Drake drags the interrogator back with his feet.

An annoyed Master of Games clicks a button. The screen still has the Sonic Underground playing.

"**_We'll be together someday..._**" the video played.

Exasperated, he pushes another few buttons until the video screen shut's down and disappears.

"We cannot let the good guys win this time, people," Master of Games explained. "We must capture this son of a spy, we must find out the location of the diamond, and we must use it for our own diabolical ends!"

Master of Games turns to a female VP businesslike.

"Copy that to all departments," Master of Games said.

"I didn't quite get that," she answered.

"Didn't quite..." Master of Game said. "Something about capturing the son of a spy and using the diamond to our own diabolic ends... and be sure to use the laugh. I like the laugh, don't you?" he stopped abruptly. "AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?"

"Mary," she answered.

"Well, Mary..." he suddenly turned flirty. "How'd you like to do a little kissing later?" off her repulsive snort. "That's what they all say, at first."

Mr. Chairman walks to the center of the room and continued. "Soon the Game Corporation shall tower over all of creation!"

"All of creation," the Board said together.

Master of Games laughs evilly. The board joins in. As their laughter builds we pull out, through the glass walls. The Game skyscraper towers above all others.


End file.
